hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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