I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
