Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
