listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
