By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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