What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize