I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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