It's Friday. Sex?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
