just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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