I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
