I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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