We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
