also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
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