She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
