Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send help, water and tortillas.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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