i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
