I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
