pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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