I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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