I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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