So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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