You can't motorboat a personality
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
