I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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