he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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