im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize