the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Dicks are not precious.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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