you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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