Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
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