Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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