He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
