I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
