Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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