I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
