what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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