dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Small penises have feelings too.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
birth control should be required to get into college
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
