fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
