Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She told me I should be a condom model.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
