I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
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He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
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Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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