At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
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im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
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She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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