so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
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you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
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I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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