he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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