Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
