quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
