is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize