im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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