Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
