It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I smell like Dick and happiness
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