And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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