it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
