I should be sponsored by Trojan
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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