That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
