It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
