And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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