Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
