I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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