i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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