Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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