So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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