is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
