yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
