she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
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Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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