we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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