69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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