Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
